His Design for my life

“God allows us to experience the low points of life in order to teach us lessons we could not learn in any other way. The way we learn those lessons is not to deny the feelings but to find the meanings underlying them.”   Stanley Lindquist            Life will always be filled with hurt and betrayal, and that my friend is a continued life lesson for me. I guess it is the hope in some of us that it would end, but unfortunately it doesn’t. I feel like I have been consumed with this hurt from a betrayal a few months ago…I am still trying to let go. It is just so hard sometimes. It hurts so bad, that I literally can feel my heart breaking. Why am I giving these people my head space!!!?? They don’t deserve it. Old habits… so hard to die! I feel sometimes that I have taken 2 steps back because old thought patterns have resurfaced there ugly head. I pray that God gives me the strength I need to let go and move on. I share my st...

It has been almost a month since I have checked in, and I am sorry! Life seems to flip upside down every few years…not sure why, but this seems to be a trend for our family. I could do without it b/c I am a creature of habit, and I hate change even though I know it will stretch me. Left to my devices I would sit in the same place for a lifetime L I am freelancing full-time now so it makes me a little wore out from being on the computer! Writing all kinds of essays, research papers etc. Trying to earn my keep! LOL I also have once again….drum roll…gone back to school yet again! I think I figured out what I wanted to be when I grow up.   I am majoring in criminal justice. This will allow me more access and pull to advocate for victims of any kind of abuse. I didn’t see this coming, but sometimes I just have to trust that God knows my path. I have also felt myself pull back due to some betrayal from people I thought would not desert me. Needless to say they did. I hate it, b/c I hav...

Who am I? Where do I belong? I don’t know if others that were raised similar to my upbringing can understand (hope they do), I am struggling badly. I promised I would be honest and transparent, and here it is boys and girls.   I have no job. I want my book to do well, but not for me, my goal was for what I can give back…so where does that leave me? Floating in the sea of unknown.  The only thing (besides my kids and hubby) that I get up for now is this fan site. It is amazing how alone you can feel in a world of thousands around you…why is that?   I am truly trying to figure out where God wants me right now, but guess what? I am holding the reins, and won’t let go! Old habits die-hard. With me in charge will only cause heartache. It is in these moments when you want to turn to a friend, a parent, anyone…but honestly the only one that is going to hold the answers is God. I know this, but I fight it tooth and nail!  So frustrating. When I say this site kee...

The New Footprints Author Unknown Now imagine you and the Lord Jesus are walking along the beach together. For much of the way the Lord's footprints go along steadily, consistently, rarely varying in the pace. But your prints are in a disorganized stream of zig zags, starts, stops, turnarounds, circles, departures, and returns. For much of the way it seems to go like this. But gradually, your footprints come in line with the Lord's; soon paralleling His consistently. You and Jesus are walking as true friends. This seems perfect, but then an interesting thing happens; your footprints that once etched the sand next to the Master's are now walking precisely in His steps. Inside His large footprints is the smaller "sandprint," safely enclosed. You and Jesus are becoming one; this goes on for many miles. But gradually you notice another change. The footprints inside the larger footprints seem to grow larger. Eventually it disappears altogether. The...

Was working on a study for my small group, saw this, and thought I would share... Twelve Steps to forgiveness Openly recognize wrong deeds to be wrong deeds Recognize that your anger is not only normal, but necessary. Realize how ongoing bitterness will ultimately hurt you. Learn from your problems by establishing better boundaries Refuse to be in the inferior position and resist the desire to be superior. Avoid the futility of judgments, letting God be the ultimate judge. Allow yourself permission to grieve. Confront the injuring party if appropriate. Find emotional freedom as you let go of the illusion of control. Choose forgiveness because it is part of your life’s mission Come to terms with others wrong deeds by recognizing your own need for forgiveness. Become a source of encouragement to other hurting people. From: The Choosing to Forgive Workbook, by Les Carter, PHD, and Frank Minirth, MD

I wrote this paper my junior year of high school! Can't believe I found it! I was one intense teenager! The Room Intense emotions gripped the sympathy filled funeral home. Teardrops persisted to slide down my visage. It was like viewing the rain on a chilled winter night. My eyes were growing very accustomed to the depressing scene, for I had been through this many times. The family members of this lost one were dark and sullen in appearance. My feelings continued to fall deeper and deeper, to the lowest depths of the earth. I could not remove my eyes from his lifeless form. The sight engraved like stone in my mind forever. I got up to say my last goodbyes, so confused and asking why. Gradually I approached the still casket made as a bed. I looked down, and the sight overwhelmed me. I started to shake and tremble, unable to be controlled. Friends and family tried to pull me away, but I could not let my best friend go. His face had been made up like a china doll to hide the abra...

It has definitely been a whirlwind couple of weeks! I had my first book signing, which was a new experience for me! I am by no means a social butterfly, and I hate being the center of attention… so this is a stretch for me! I am the one who likes to blend into the background. Old habits die-hard! Seen, not heard…when that is all you know, it is a tough nut to crack. I am working on it… I am still not real sure where all of this is leading, but I am just so grateful and humbled by the people that have touched my life due to my book. While I am not surprised that I have not heard from other choice people, it still saddens me that some will just hold on to their pride instead of doing the right thing. I have said it before, life has many disappointments, but it also has many amazing and divine opportunities. I am trying to focus on the divine, because there is nothing I can do about what others choose. Something else that happened this past weekend that really frustrated me was we...