Skip to main content

I am alive!

It has been almost a month since I have checked in, and I am sorry! Life seems to flip upside down every few years…not sure why, but this seems to be a trend for our family. I could do without it b/c I am a creature of habit, and I hate change even though I know it will stretch me. Left to my devices I would sit in the same place for a lifetime L

I am freelancing full-time now so it makes me a little wore out from being on the computer! Writing all kinds of essays, research papers etc. Trying to earn my keep! LOL I also have once again….drum roll…gone back to school yet again! I think I figured out what I wanted to be when I grow up.  I am majoring in criminal justice. This will allow me more access and pull to advocate for victims of any kind of abuse.

I didn’t see this coming, but sometimes I just have to trust that God knows my path. I have also felt myself pull back due to some betrayal from people I thought would not desert me. Needless to say they did. I hate it, b/c I have worked hard not to be pessimistic, but this is another proverbial nail in the coffin. I have to keep people at arm’s length.

I am grateful though everyday to my loyal fans that I see post regularly. You guys truly keep me focused on the goal. You have enriched my life more than you will ever know. I hope to not be gone so long this time! I will try. Please know you are all in my thoughts and prayers everyday! God is powerful. Never think something is insurmountable.  Faith can move mountains. (just not in our time…)

Yours truly,
april

Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

Life as I knew it....

Lost. Confused. Hurt. So many emotions that have consumed most of my life, and have become again intensely prevalent in the last year. When I re-read my journals, writings, posts….I see a trend. I see the problems, but nothing changes. I can’t say I have not grown, matured, and learned the patterns, but there are still the same themes. Love. It is elusive, self-serving, and ambiguous to me. I don’t know if that will ever change, and it scares me. It may sound trivial to many, but when it is not afforded to you as a young child, it does affect your ability to grasp the complexity of it, and create healthy relationships. 2016, like 1983, changed the course of my life. 2016 was a year of a 20 year marriage ending. 2016 was a year of losing the last of familial relationships, I thought I might have. 2016 was a year of my 4 beautiful children experiencing excruciating pain and the broken illusion of a happy family. I would be lying if I said I have not felt like I was the worse failure...
4 comments
Read more

Change


 "Take the first step, no more, no less, and the next will be revealed." 

-- Ken Roberts
 Why is this so hard for me to follow? Do you ever feel like you are brimming over with great words, but it really isn’t changing anything you are doing? As the saying goes “the road to hell is paved with good intentions”. I hate change. Always have, and probably always will b/c it scares me. That is another defect I have to work on, b/c allowing anything, such as fear, to have that power is unacceptable. I hear it all the time when change is inevitable…you can’t teach an old dog new tricks. Why is that? For me I believe the truth lies in my own comfort & pride. Everything happens for a reason…I know that for a fact based on my life. Living by faith and not by sight is difficult. We are a society of instant gratification & instant answers thanks to the internet. (I swear I am a google addict) But honestly, this has reinforced us further into believing we have control of ...
Post a Comment
Read more
Alot weighing on me. I stay off here. Because honestly, it's toxic. I realized I said I would not stay silent...And, I did, again...And I found this...I said I would never be silent again.... yet... for many years I have.... This was in my drafts----- Learning to let go of what you thought life would be. Life, to some is clearly cut into categorization of black and white …. however , my world has always had shades of gray. It had to be for my survival. I realize now that most do not want, nor do they care to understand that. I ask myself constantly, where did I go wrong? I am not the best, but who is? Was I the worst? I think it is stretching it, but possibly, to those I am. However, I still believe there are bonds that don’t get broken so easily. Right?  I survived the most hellacious event of my life, watching my own mother take her last breath...I know I am broken by my past, but can you give a girl a break? I have to respect myself enough to let go. Literally, figurativ...
2 comments
Read more