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The pain never really goes away….I know I need to start writing again, but I tend to get caught up in just trying to live. If we can call it that.


I buried my mother over 40 years ago…there is a hole inside of me that nothing has been able to fill. I didn’t just bury her, but part of me that day. She was so young. It is so depressing to me how we as a society just live so flippantly like tomorrow is promised. Do I feel cheated? 100%. Have I been the best mother? Probably not, but I can say with everything I still have left in me…I tried. 


As a person, life happens. Stuff happens. It shapes us, and we look back years later, and say what the heck was I thinking?? But, at that moment we only see what's in front of our face…not tomorrow. Once they are gone. It is done. There is no do over. What was her favorite food? What made her happy? Those questions will never be answered. 


Holding on to stuff that has happened is like a toxic poison. It is not hurting the ones gone or that did something to you…It will destroy you. This is a battle I will always fight till my last breath. However, I still believe in loving hard and strong. Even if others choose to live life without you.


My wish for my mother on this Mothers Day…is peace. Life can be a hellacious journey, but we all deserve some peace and love. Happy Mother’s Day to all of you.

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