Today was an amazing day. I love my God & King, & the blessings I have daily. Speaking today was an honor & a great remembrance for what would have been my moms 57th birthday. I feel humbled & amazed at what God has done in & through my life. His love & mercy is so amazing. I feel peace I have not felt before. I am His & He is mine. Jeremiah 29:11
Will I ever feel normal? Will I always be on the outside looking in? I never feel like I belong, and my gut continues to tell me all I say is wrong. Why couldn’t there have been just one? One that truly loved me so… Will this empty pit ever be gone? As I sit here alone, I know that is where I belong. I don’t understand any other way… What am I supposed to say? I feel the pressure sitting on my chest.. Why can’t I fit in like all the rest? I am hiding the tears because I have to be strong… I cannot be weak because than I truly do feel like a freak. I am trying not to feel sad, but it is so hard when all I feel is bad. Life will continue to move on, but I hope that I figure this out before I am long gone.
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