Skip to main content

Bitterness

Never succumb to the temptation of bitterness.-
Martin Luther King, Jr.

It is so easy to become a bitter person. Life's disappointments, family, jobs etc. A multitude of reasons to be bitter. Will it change any of those situations? No. So why is it we get stuck there? For some it is just easier to stay bitter and blame someone or something than to do the work and change how you view it. Is there a situation that just burns in your gut? Don't sit and complain! Get up and do something or don't complain about it! Proactive or shut it!

I know we have all heard, "you can't make everyone happy", well it isn't my job to bring you happiness, but to be accountable for my own actions. In the past bitterness consumed me. I was so angry, and the whole world owed me for what I had been through. Was that realistic? No, but b/c of my parents death, and the abuse, i didn't know who else to be mad at.

I was miserable, and all that were around me better be feeling the same. What kind of life is that? Did it change one thing about my past? Nope. We have to let go...sometimes daily. The bitterness steals our joy & evil wins. Don't let evil get the final win.

Be a blessing-
ajm

Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

Life as I knew it....

Lost. Confused. Hurt. So many emotions that have consumed most of my life, and have become again intensely prevalent in the last year. When I re-read my journals, writings, posts….I see a trend. I see the problems, but nothing changes. I can’t say I have not grown, matured, and learned the patterns, but there are still the same themes. Love. It is elusive, self-serving, and ambiguous to me. I don’t know if that will ever change, and it scares me. It may sound trivial to many, but when it is not afforded to you as a young child, it does affect your ability to grasp the complexity of it, and create healthy relationships. 2016, like 1983, changed the course of my life. 2016 was a year of a 20 year marriage ending. 2016 was a year of losing the last of familial relationships, I thought I might have. 2016 was a year of my 4 beautiful children experiencing excruciating pain and the broken illusion of a happy family. I would be lying if I said I have not felt like I was the worse failure...
4 comments
Read more

Time to Reflect

This weekend was a roller coaster ride. I found myself caught in a place I thought was long gone. All through grade school and high school I use to watch young girls with their moms, and that ache I felt when my mom died became a huge hole. I was so jealous that they were able to have those moments with their mom, shopping, talking, just being there for them. I yearned for it, but it just wasn't to be. Thus, the feeling of me on the outside looking in. I never felt like I "belonged" to anyone...I always felt "pushed" onto people...not a good feeling. When I would hear my friends bad mouth their parents, I would tell them to "be glad you have them". It was put in front of me this weekend. I didn't see it coming, and it hit me like a blow to the head. I began to feel inferior. I began to play the tapes of "I am not good enough", look at all the mistakes I have made, I don't deserve all the things i have been blessed with after all the t...
3 comments
Read more
Alot weighing on me. I stay off here. Because honestly, it's toxic. I realized I said I would not stay silent...And, I did, again...And I found this...I said I would never be silent again.... yet... for many years I have.... This was in my drafts----- Learning to let go of what you thought life would be. Life, to some is clearly cut into categorization of black and white …. however , my world has always had shades of gray. It had to be for my survival. I realize now that most do not want, nor do they care to understand that. I ask myself constantly, where did I go wrong? I am not the best, but who is? Was I the worst? I think it is stretching it, but possibly, to those I am. However, I still believe there are bonds that don’t get broken so easily. Right?  I survived the most hellacious event of my life, watching my own mother take her last breath...I know I am broken by my past, but can you give a girl a break? I have to respect myself enough to let go. Literally, figurativ...
2 comments
Read more