Skip to main content

Wow. A year ago to the date.


It is so weird. I have not blogged in forever. I have been writing, but it has been random and in a notebook I carry with me at all times. I was getting ready to check my email and hit my blog bookmark on accident…or was it?? I looked at the date, and was like wow. A whole year has passed. Have I changed at all? For the better? Or the worse?

Life is a journey of tears, joy, pain, humility and sprinkled with every other emotion. This has been one the most challenging years of my life. So many different changes. Life looks nothing like it did a year ago. There are things I have handled well, and others that I have botched up horribly. The thing is…I truly believe that nothing we go through is for naught. Does it make it right? No, but I really don’t want to be a victim anymore.

How far and how long will we fight the reality of which we are scars and all? It does not have to be a bad thing. If we embrace what has made us, even when it hurts, how much more empowered would we feel? Everyday is a new day to change and learn, don’t let your past (and those in it) dictate your future and future generations.

The definition of insanity is doing the same thing over and over expecting different results. How many times in our lives have we done this? Yet, we still don’t get it. Happiness and joy are not guarantees in life. We all have choices. With choices come consequences, whether those consequences are good or bad. We are so determined to believe that someone owes us…I am so guilty of this for so many years. We cannot depend on anyone to make us happy except one. God. He is the only constant, and will always be the only constant. Does believing in God promise me no suffering and constant joy? No. Nowhere in the bible does He promise that.

Consequences of our choices will always remain. The difference is what do you do with the fall out? Become negative? Cynical? What will it gain? It is not hurting anyone but us. Only YOU can decide when enough is enough. If you want a different outcome, you must make different choices.

I battle with all of this daily. No one has immunity. What would our lives look like if we focused on our blessings, and not on the horrible junk of our past and those things we have absolutely no control over?

I don’t have all the answers…I am forging this unbeaten path too. I do know that if I give up, all those that have hurt me win. We have to value ourselves. If we feel worthless that is what we will attract and focus on. If you allow yourself to hear truth about who you really are, small steps will lead you into the light.  

Gotta keep your head up-
april

Comments

  1. I love you, April, and miss you so much. Thanks for blogging again. It's scary how much our thoughts resemble each other's. Planning to see you soon. Love and hugs!!! So blessed God has brought you into my life, even if it happens in intervals. :)

    ReplyDelete

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

Hard life lessons learned

“God allows us to experience the low points of life in order to teach us lessons we could not learn in any other way. The way we learn those lessons is not to deny the feelings but to find the meanings underlying them.”   Stanley Lindquist            Life will always be filled with hurt and betrayal, and that my friend is a continued life lesson for me. I guess it is the hope in some of us that it would end, but unfortunately it doesn’t. I feel like I have been consumed with this hurt from a betrayal a few months ago…I am still trying to let go. It is just so hard sometimes. It hurts so bad, that I literally can feel my heart breaking. Why am I giving these people my head space!!!?? They don’t deserve it. Old habits… so hard to die! I feel sometimes that I have taken 2 steps back because old thought patterns have resurfaced there ugly head. I pray that God gives me the strength I need to let go and move on. I share my st...

Never let go

Behind each human face is a hidden world that no one can see. 
We cannot continue to seek outside ourselves for the things we need from within. The demons will haunt us if we remain afraid. Silence is one of the great victims of modern culture. 
 -John O'Donohue This quote hit home this morning when I read it. I spent years looking outside of myself to find something or someone to fill those empty spaces that gnawed at me daily. I made life-changing decisions based on just wanting acceptance and love. I continued to chase after something that I would never find outside of myself. Your parents may be the ones that birthed you, but they do NOT define who you become unless you let them. We remain in our hell of silence more so than not b/c the pain & shame are just too great. No one understands, right? We turn everything inward, and it eats away at any bit of happiness & fulfillment we could possibly get out of life. Why? We are taught that asking for help makes you weak...
"The ultimate measure of a man is not where he stands in moments of comfort and convenience, but where he stands at times of challenge and controversy." ~Rev. Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr.~ Rev. King is one of my inspirations to be a better person. To overcome adversity with grace, but with the fire to not back down when the going gets tough. I know it is so easy to say we stand for certain causes etc, but when it really comes down to it, do you really ? If I say that nothing will stop me from protecting another child or person in need. I stand behind it 110%. I had to be completely honest with myself & make sure my motives were realistic...because how can I write a book and proclaim that is what I stand behind, and than turn a blind eye to what is right in front of me? I used to wonder what I would really do if I was called on the carpet. The situation presented itself a few months ago. I felt God’s voice in my head asking, “what are you going to do?” I was leaving a...