Skip to main content

Don't let anyone take your will to live away


“You have a choice. Live or die. Every breath is a choice. Every minute is a choice. To be or not to be.”- Chuck Palahniuk

When I read this quote I want to say that I know sometimes it feels like we don’t have a choice. Feel being the operative word. Sometimes life just plain sucks, but you still have a choice. When we take it upon ourselves to contemplate taking our own life, we are in turn saying to those who love us, “I am sorry, but your love just isn’t enough”.

I know that may seem harsh, but realistically there is truth behind it. I should know I have contemplated suicide more than I ever should have. Mainly it was during times I was under the influence, which just exacerbates those emotions without fully understanding the consequences of what those actions will bring to those around me when I am long gone.

Life is tough. Life can be filled with happiness, sadness, disappointment, death, life, and the list goes on. We have a choice to throw in the towel or not too. It is always a matter of free will. I understand being a tormented soul…I was one and still am on my bad days, but I will be damned if I glorify and honor what has happened to me by taking my life and subsequently destroy my children’s lives. Not even an option anymore.

We have people around us that will help. We HAVE to stop being selfish, and reach out. It doesn’t make you weak! In your mind it may seem burdensome, but what is 15-20 minutes of ‘burdening’ a friend that will try and help you carry the load or spending eternity in God knows where, and a trail of your demise affecting generations to come?

We all have bad days…it may seem at every turn something or someone is smacking you in the face. Don’t allow it to take you down. No matter what we have gone through or going through there is a light at the end of the tunnel…you just have to hold on. Sometimes clinging to a small thread, but clinging nevertheless!

Life is what we make it. I am not saying we control all of those around us, but we still have power over our own minds. I beg you to not give up…there is One who can pull you through.

Don't give up-
april

Are you feeling desperate, alone or hopeless? Call the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline at 1-800-273-TALK (8255), a free, 24-hour hotline available to anyone in suicidal crisis or emotional distress. Your call will be routed to the nearest crisis center to you.
 ***In Memory of Little Dana***

Comments

  1. So true April. I might just add not to forget that God uses all our pain and waste nothing. We never know who we effect by our willingness to stay strong and choose life, trusting in God to walk us thru. If it were just about us, I guess there would be no need to do this, maybe God would give us the choice to opt out of pain. But I believe it is so bigger than that. He gives us many choices and uses our decisions for His glory and someones good.
    Blessings,
    Sue

    ReplyDelete

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

Never let go

Behind each human face is a hidden world that no one can see. 
We cannot continue to seek outside ourselves for the things we need from within. The demons will haunt us if we remain afraid. Silence is one of the great victims of modern culture. 
 -John O'Donohue This quote hit home this morning when I read it. I spent years looking outside of myself to find something or someone to fill those empty spaces that gnawed at me daily. I made life-changing decisions based on just wanting acceptance and love. I continued to chase after something that I would never find outside of myself. Your parents may be the ones that birthed you, but they do NOT define who you become unless you let them. We remain in our hell of silence more so than not b/c the pain & shame are just too great. No one understands, right? We turn everything inward, and it eats away at any bit of happiness & fulfillment we could possibly get out of life. Why? We are taught that asking for help makes you weak...

Father, do you hear their cries...

Will there ever be a day when I can read the news with out wanting to get physically sick for the injustice that continues to go on? It goes from a WA woman broadcasting sex acts with a 2 week old baby, 8yr old little girl, and a 6yr old little boy. What can you even say to that? I cannot even in my darkest days begin to even come close to rationalizing that one. How soon till these kids are given back to her? What does the future look like for them? There are so many sick and twisted people in this world that sometimes it is hard to not be pessimistic. When I posted the other day about the TX man who beheaded three children b/c he thought they were demons, and he was the chosen one…seriously who can possibly come up with this stuff? I do my best to not be a bible thumper on people, but I believe that the bottom dweller roams this earth, and works through people like the ones in these stories. Again, I ask myself, where is family and friends of these lunatics? I will say it over ...
Alot weighing on me. I stay off here. Because honestly, it's toxic. I realized I said I would not stay silent...And, I did, again...And I found this...I said I would never be silent again.... yet... for many years I have.... This was in my drafts----- Learning to let go of what you thought life would be. Life, to some is clearly cut into categorization of black and white …. however , my world has always had shades of gray. It had to be for my survival. I realize now that most do not want, nor do they care to understand that. I ask myself constantly, where did I go wrong? I am not the best, but who is? Was I the worst? I think it is stretching it, but possibly, to those I am. However, I still believe there are bonds that don’t get broken so easily. Right?  I survived the most hellacious event of my life, watching my own mother take her last breath...I know I am broken by my past, but can you give a girl a break? I have to respect myself enough to let go. Literally, figurativ...