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Some things are better left buried

I know I have moments of my childhood that are complete blanks. I believe in some cases that is my own way of self preservation against memories I cannot handle. I try not to delve too deeply, b/c I am honestly afraid of what I might find.

I ask myself "will it change anything?", no in most cases it won't, so why open myself up to more pain? Everybody learns to cope differently...I get that, but for me the memories I have are more than enough to make me nuts!

Life right now feels like an out of control tornado. These times come around when my life has major decisions on the horizon. So much going on right now in my life, that I feel myself getting sucked in that hole. Questioning everything that I know to be true...why do I do this? Much of it is my personality, but mostly it is my lack of control that makes me crazy.

I can't control someone else's pain or struggles...I can offer what has worked for me. Some one in my life is in the process of opening Pandora's box, and there is NOTHING I can do about it. Will it change the past? No. Will it bring more potential hurt? Absolutely. Just don't know....

till next time...ajm

"As in the physical world, so in the spiritual world, pain does not last forever."
~Katherine Mansfield

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