A Good Man. Jim Maley

My heart is hurting. This earthly realm lost a courageous and loving husband, father, grandfather, friend, and confidant. The last couple years life has changed so dramatically. One thing that never changed, towards me, was the love of Jim Maley. Even after his accident years ago, when he couldn’t express himself the way he wanted to, all of this that were around him, knew through his eyes and actions, the heart of who he was.

In the 20 plus years he was in my life, he was nothing but good to me. He loved me even at my worst. He saw something in me, I could not see. He treated me like a daughter, and that did not change when life changed. I was very blessed to get to say goodbye...a luxury many of us don’t get.

My heart breaks for Sue...lovely and faithful servant always. My heart also hurts for the multitude of people he has left behind...his kids, family, grand-kids

, friends...he touched so many.

I will miss his smooches every time I saw him...that smile...that love...I hate saying goodbye...just a layover till I see you and the many others that I await to see someday. Thank you for the impact you had on my life...I can’t look back at regrets of time lost. I am just grateful for your life. God broke the mold with us Jim...I know you know what that means.

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A time for everything

A Time for Everything-Ecclesiastes 3:1-8 (NIV) 1 There is a time for everything, and a season for every activity under heaven: As we walk through this life what are we looking for? Acceptance? Completion? Other human beings will always fail us, always hurt us, and always let us down, but there is One who won’t. 2 a time to be born and a time to die, a time to plant and a time to uproot, We always are congratulating, excited, and in awe when someone gives birth…as the child grows older most lose their fascination with that child and what is cute. Why is that? Those children become jaded because of us. A child has an insurmountable amount of faith when they are young…we end up squeezing it out of them as a society. A time to die. It is so hard to deal with death of a loved one, whether family or friends, it is so hard to say goodbye. As days go on I stop, much more than I ever use to, and look around me. Amazed at what God has created, and saddened by the signs that sat...

The pain never really goes away….I know I need to start writing again, but I tend to get caught up in just trying to live. If we can call it that. I buried my mother over 40 years ago…there is a hole inside of me that nothing has been able to fill. I didn’t just bury her, but part of me that day. She was so young. It is so depressing to me how we as a society just live so flippantly like tomorrow is promised. Do I feel cheated? 100%. Have I been the best mother? Probably not, but I can say with everything I still have left in me…I tried. As a person, life happens. Stuff happens. It shapes us, and we look back years later, and say what the heck was I thinking?? But, at that moment we only see what's in front of our face…not tomorrow. Once they are gone. It is done. There is no do over. What was her favorite food? What made her happy? Those questions will never be answered. Holding on to stuff that has happened is like a toxic poison. It is not hurting the ones gone or that di...

Empty

Will I ever feel normal? Will I always be on the outside looking in? I never feel like I belong, and my gut continues to tell me all I say is wrong. Why couldn’t there have been just one? One that truly loved me so… Will this empty pit ever be gone? As I sit here alone, I know that is where I belong. I don’t understand any other way… What am I supposed to say? I feel the pressure sitting on my chest.. Why can’t I fit in like all the rest? I am hiding the tears because I have to be strong… I cannot be weak because than I truly do feel like a freak. I am trying not to feel sad, but it is so hard when all I feel is bad. Life will continue to move on, but I hope that I figure this out before I am long gone.

His Design for my life

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