What are your morals based on? Where do you find certain experiences are wrong? Abuse, molesting etc. What are you basing it on? Give me reasons why this is wrong and unjust. Trying to make you reach deep and answer. Letting it go….writing it out, takes that power away from the abuser! Believe that. Picture them being slapped down by your confidence!
Lost. Confused. Hurt. So many emotions that have consumed most of my life, and have become again intensely prevalent in the last year. When I re-read my journals, writings, posts….I see a trend. I see the problems, but nothing changes. I can’t say I have not grown, matured, and learned the patterns, but there are still the same themes. Love. It is elusive, self-serving, and ambiguous to me. I don’t know if that will ever change, and it scares me. It may sound trivial to many, but when it is not afforded to you as a young child, it does affect your ability to grasp the complexity of it, and create healthy relationships. 2016, like 1983, changed the course of my life. 2016 was a year of a 20 year marriage ending. 2016 was a year of losing the last of familial relationships, I thought I might have. 2016 was a year of my 4 beautiful children experiencing excruciating pain and the broken illusion of a happy family. I would be lying if I said I have not felt like I was the worse failure...
Picture them being slapped down by your confidence!
ReplyDeleteWhat are your morals based on?
Where do you find certain experiences are wrong?
Given it’s a metaphor above, yet to answer your first question about morals, I find an Eye for an Eye even though biblical in nature nothing more or less than perpetuating the same cycle of abuse no matter the justification and to commit harm no matter the justification a loss for all. I can’t pretend to be able to anticipate all context to any crime against others, yet most times things are much more complicated than we can guess. Even if it’s only a frame of mind over the act, yet the better path is not to use fire to fight fire, be honest in our homes we use water or baking soda because we know using the same only damages more and makes it spread. So as Christ said turn the other cheek. Lastly
My stepfather abused me emotionally and sexually for many years. It was extremely difficult and damaging, but even at a young age, I thought, what must he have been through to do perpetrate such hideous acts? I am certainly no saint, but on his deathbed, I went to him and told him he was loved and he was forgiven. I can't describe how difficult that was, but I'm glad I did it.
ReplyDelete