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Today. Yesterday. Future.

Today. Yesterday. Future.
I have felt the pain.
I have seen the destruction.
I have witnessed the demoralization.
I have watched them flee.
The pain of no one there.
The debilitating thought of trusting.
Yet, I have learned.
There is  One who holds my past, present and future.
However, I hold it close to my vest, like I think I can control it.
Fear is  crippling.
I did not do enough.
Was I ever enough?
So many questions.
God.
My only true supporter.
He wants me.
Even when the others do not.
Why do I run from Him?
This is who I am.
The good, the bad, and the ugly.
Why can’t anyone see that?
I want to quit fighting.
I want to give up.
Yet, my Father in Heaven keeps pulling me back.
Why?
Each day is anew.
I know this.
However, each day I breathe, is one more breath
I know soon I will not take.
Fear of death used to cripple me.
Now...I have learned…
No matter what I do, say or become…
I have been judged.
The pain will subside….maybe. I am only human. But...
My destiny only depends on the One that controls it.

And I pray I will be in the kingdom of no
more tears or pain.
Till then….head down, pray, and hope.
Love, Hope and Blessings…

In Him Alone-

April

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